01-18-07 Update
I've managed to get into a recording studio class this semester. Yayy!!! Don't be disheartened if it takes a bit for me to respond.
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Be a little brave and say hi.
I got bored with my own profile, so it feels like it's time for a change. No, the snake is not mine. That's from the Chicago Reptile Show.
Likes: Here
Dislikes: There
Aspirations: Goddess
The person I'd like to meet: Can't decide, so someone with a multi-personality disorder should be about right. Then I can have everything I want in one person. :-) Seven personalities should be about right so then I can have sex with a different guy each day of the week and still claim monogamy.
Yes, I know I have my listed for just friends. I am pretty happy and cool with snifty friends, though I am open to the option of more for the right person.
Programming makes more sense to me than instant pudding. I can get a little obsessive about motorcycles and music. Yes, I currently smoke, I'm wanting to quit (had been off for 2 years), but can't say when it will happen again.
The test for who I'd date:
1. Blank stare at one of my jokes --- you'd get one date at least because you're cute.
2. Regular laugh --- two dates because you probably didn't get it anyway and are faking it, and I'll figure that out by the second date.
3. Spurt beer two feet out of your nose, just narrowly missing me --- You'd get a few more dates, or a regular beer drinking buddy, because making people's beer go up their nose amuses me.
4. Just barely manage to hold the beer in, face turning red, tears running down face...hold it....hold it...........ok, swallow. Take a deap breath....come back with a smart assed remark....you successfully get the same reaction out of me ---- Ok, lets get married and make strange children with 12 toes and 11 fingers. (No, you're not required to drink beer.)
I’ve come to the conclusion that dating sucks big, fat, hairy moose**** (Got a visual yet?) Am I going to quit?…ermmm, probably not. I’m sure hoping that doesn’t relate me in any way to moose**** (shudder) My dad is probably rolling over in his grave right now. I grew up in a town named****yville (often referred to as****lessville by neighboring towns) and went to a Catholic grade school whose mascot is the Trojans....ok, now, what is wrong with that picture? So, I blame it all on my dad for placing me in that environment.
Ok, time to hit an all new low. I just realized I have the words**** swallow, sex, and some bondage going on in the date. Geez, this so isn't me, and I even managed to write this one all by myself. I'm really just harmless and razz the world to no end.
Blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let in the light.
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Ok this is funny. Finished my profile and everywhere the letters d...i...c...k appeared were deleted out, even in the name of the town I'm from. Ummmm, I wonder if my profile will be forced off?
Be a little brave and say hi.
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11-05-06 update
Give me a guy who talks to jello, pees on squirrels, compulsively masturbates in the tampon isle at the store, obsesses about the length of his armpit hair, and thinks about beaming hamsters into the middle of walls with a thermonuclear particle transducer any day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
First, you must meet the lizard. If he ignores you, then you're safe. If he nods, then I know you'll be exciting. If he tries to kill you, I'll know you're not the one. Assuming you're still alive, then I'll strap you, kicking and screaming, to the back of my bike with bungee cords. We'll ride straight to the courthouse and get divorced, so that's not a thing that would have to be worried about in the future. I'll just drive the motorcycle right in so that you can't run away....I'm just that kind of a devoted kind of gal. :-p After that, we'll have to hit a drive through for dinner. If your face shield is closed just right, the burger should stay balanced so you can nibble as we ride. Then it's off to Texas to start an iguana farm and live happily ever after. The only way to get out of this is to laugh uproariously at my jokes....otherwise, it's bungee cords for you, buddy.
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